Saturday, March 27, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Open Letter: Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger
Disclaimer: I met this man who asked me to post this on my site. His views are his alone and don't represent this site or me. If it wasn't for some surprisingly compromising footage of myself inside the Department of Industrial Relations building, I wouldn't have even posted this, but you just can't say no physical evidence.
Dear Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger,
My name is Jim “The Gum” Lazlo and I am an amateur adult film star. I am writing to show support in your statewide budget cuts. Unlike the professional adult film industry, the amateur film business is booming. Mainly because of its ability in keeping low overhead while producing a product that is just as good as the professionals.
I, like many in my business, have a day job as a government employee. With the overtime restrictions, layoffs and reductions that were put in place I am now able to focus on what I like to do best. For example, because of restricted overtime hours last year I was able to achieve nominal success from a video I did called “Gum in Your Hair”. That’s something that I could have only achieved because of your keen insight to not raise taxes to pay off the California budget deficit. In short I am proof that the budget cuts were a success.
Now because of the additional time I am forced to take off from my job, I do have more time to go to supermarkets, golf courses and cigar shops to sell my videos. And because it is a cash to hand business, the money we make is straight profit, much like how many officials in your party wish the economic structure to be. I don’t have any employees that I have to pay or an Internet presence (which I frankly don’t trust economically). I also think that having an Internet presence cheapens the connection that I make with the people who buy my videos.
Like you must feel, I am a bit of a pariah to the big adult film industry. They see me doing quick and often artistic videos in a way that they could wish to only do. I do straight to VHS videos that I duplicate at a local video store, but I am also able to transfer the VHS to DVD (for a nominal fee, of course). I have complete artistic control and if I do say so myself, a pretty decent dong. There’s no gray area, just pure business and hard sex. This to me is what I imagine a free market society to be.
While new technology, like 3-D and interactive programs, in the adult film industry fascinates me, I don’t think anything can replace a big dong penetrating a woman at speeds that rival high streaming digital cable. And because of my pay lowering, I don’t feel the pinch with my RCA camcorder and extendable boom mic. I am able to keep making sex videos like I have since high school.
That’s why I support your choice to go back to basics and really allow people to make something of themselves. All I want to do is have sex with women with loose vaginas and blown out assholes and because of your economic budget cuts, I am able to do that. I hope more people in the amateur adult film industry recognize what you are doing by getting the word out and I will continue (just like I say in “Don’t Gum Just Yet”) to “spread it like peanut butter”.
Sincerely,
Jim “The Gum” Lazlo.
My name is Jim “The Gum” Lazlo and I am an amateur adult film star. I am writing to show support in your statewide budget cuts. Unlike the professional adult film industry, the amateur film business is booming. Mainly because of its ability in keeping low overhead while producing a product that is just as good as the professionals.
I, like many in my business, have a day job as a government employee. With the overtime restrictions, layoffs and reductions that were put in place I am now able to focus on what I like to do best. For example, because of restricted overtime hours last year I was able to achieve nominal success from a video I did called “Gum in Your Hair”. That’s something that I could have only achieved because of your keen insight to not raise taxes to pay off the California budget deficit. In short I am proof that the budget cuts were a success.
Now because of the additional time I am forced to take off from my job, I do have more time to go to supermarkets, golf courses and cigar shops to sell my videos. And because it is a cash to hand business, the money we make is straight profit, much like how many officials in your party wish the economic structure to be. I don’t have any employees that I have to pay or an Internet presence (which I frankly don’t trust economically). I also think that having an Internet presence cheapens the connection that I make with the people who buy my videos.
Like you must feel, I am a bit of a pariah to the big adult film industry. They see me doing quick and often artistic videos in a way that they could wish to only do. I do straight to VHS videos that I duplicate at a local video store, but I am also able to transfer the VHS to DVD (for a nominal fee, of course). I have complete artistic control and if I do say so myself, a pretty decent dong. There’s no gray area, just pure business and hard sex. This to me is what I imagine a free market society to be.
While new technology, like 3-D and interactive programs, in the adult film industry fascinates me, I don’t think anything can replace a big dong penetrating a woman at speeds that rival high streaming digital cable. And because of my pay lowering, I don’t feel the pinch with my RCA camcorder and extendable boom mic. I am able to keep making sex videos like I have since high school.
That’s why I support your choice to go back to basics and really allow people to make something of themselves. All I want to do is have sex with women with loose vaginas and blown out assholes and because of your economic budget cuts, I am able to do that. I hope more people in the amateur adult film industry recognize what you are doing by getting the word out and I will continue (just like I say in “Don’t Gum Just Yet”) to “spread it like peanut butter”.
Sincerely,
Jim “The Gum” Lazlo.
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